The Struggle is Real: Full time Night RN and Full time momma

My bio

I have been a RN for almost fifteen years.  I worked in a teaching hospital for almost the first half of my career.  During that time I mainly worked in cardiac areas bedside floor nursing, ICU and circulated in the CVOR for a minute.  The ER was always my dream job.  Straight out of nursing school I didn’t have the confidence to dive into an Emergency Room setting, so 8 years later, this wonderful journey began.  The ER is the best of all parts of nursing!!! It’s absolutely my dream job, even on my worst nights.

 

My boyfriend and I have four beautiful children together 11, 5, 4 and 2.  He works a traditional Monday thru Friday job.  He’s also a head high school football coach and picks up extra evening sports jobs throughout the school year.  Altough his schedule is more set than mine, it doesn’t leave him with tons of free time in the evenings, at least not during football season.  My schedule is three 12 hour shifts 7p-7a.  We have a 3 week rotating schedule, that provides some structure, but lacks the consistent stability of a solid work schedule.

My Life

I love every moment I get to spend with my babies.  I’d like to think if I could be solely a stay at home mom, I would absolutely.  But on the other hand I love what I do so much that I think I like the chaos of work and home, it just fits me.  I choose to work nights for a few reasons.  One, the cost of day care for 3 babies is outrageous.  Second, I feel like I would miss all four of them way to much if I was at work all day until 7:30/8:00pm.  And lastly I get the perks of being a stay at home mom with them all day, we get to snuggle, play, go to the park, go to the library, etc.  So many things we wouldn’t get to do if I worked a traditional Mon-Fri gig.  There are many days/nights I’m dreaming about sleeping though.  Counting down the hours until I can lay in my bed and actually sleep.

For example, this is Tuesday night at almost 4am.  I work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week.  I woke up at 7 am this morning got my 11 year old and 4 year old to school.  Back home, at 0825.  Breakfast for the two littles, which I think was…donuts and apples, I mean they have ravioli’s for breakfast sometimes, don’t judge :-).  Milani, the baby has dance class at 10, so we were out the door by 0930.  This is the one time during the week that Stevo and I have “just us” time.  Dance class is from 10-11, so Stevo and I usually walk to the gas station and get a snack.  Today we hung out right outside of the dance school on a bench, chatted and ate our snack.  Back home in time to get Emorej from the bus, which arrives by 12:15.  We walk her back to the house, she tells me about her day.  Today she got a treasure out of the treasure box, that she was super excited about.  She’s been begging me to decorate for Halloween, so we got some of our fall décor out and she decorated a little.  But tomorrow we’ll have to “get more Halloween decorations, so our house can be spooktacular” lol.  Leftovers for lunch.  Cleaned the kitchen up a little.  We managed to get a nap in from about 1:30 to 3.  Woke up to Gabriella’s beautiful face.  Showered.  Picked clothes out for them for tomorrow, and time to go again.  Everyone in the car by 4:45: take G to one of her teammates house, so she can ride to practice with them.  Take Emorej to dance/gym.  The littles are just along for the ride, drop them off with dad hug on him for a brief second and off to work I came.

Three nights in a row is my favorite and probably most exhausting weeks of my schedule.  Tomorrow I’ll get the two oldest girls off to school and then breakfast for the littles.  I’ll nap on an off on the floor in the living room in the middle of whatever toys, or non-toys they want to play with .  I usually nap/lounge until about 11.  Then it’s lunch and playing, trying to clean the house, going to story time at the library.  Only basketball practice tomorrow, but Big Steven has to work late and won’t be able to pick her up so I think we’re skipping practice and he’ll get in some skills work with her at his school gym.  And…back to work for the next two nights.

I’ve always thought if I had to work a traditional 9-5 I would make it work or not work, as my whole check would go to childcare.  Nursing is it’s own evil, there are so many options for hours, specialty areas, shifts:days, nights, weekends.  I have so many options to choose from.  I feel like this gives me the most time with my kiddos.  I’m sure it’s not ideal for my partner because he doesn’t always get the “best me”…he get’s the exhausted cranky me sometimes.  Of course he feels like I put everyone and everything before him, which isn’t the case but I can see that viewpoint.

The struggle is well worth it

Our house is a hott ass mess many days, my beauty or smell sometimes is not at it’s full potential  some days.  But… I love my babies, my boyfriend and my nursing career as much as one can love.  I am blessed with the diversity of options I have to provide for my family.  I am grateful for these opportunities on a daily.

Any nurse by night, stay at home mom/dad during the day peeps wanna share?

High school reunion

My 20th high school reunion was last week.   Although I couldn’t attend, it did get me back in contact with some friends I haven’t talked to in way to long.  I met one of my h.s. girlfriends for lunch the other day.  She did go the reunion.  But we were talking about how so and so were doing or if she or I had heard from them.  I talked about not really talking to very many people but I feel like I keep up with them on facebook.  I was saying how some of the girls looked like they hadn’t aged and looked so put together.  My girlfriend said “we have a lot of filters on our phones these days”.  This is not like some genius idea, but it made me realize that yes, some people live their lives so perfectly on facebook or social media when their real lives are nothing like what you see.  You know how sometimes people say things and you’re just like that is ABSOLUTELY what I needed to hear right now.  I have my struggles in my relationship and parenting and with work and I am very aware that my life is not perfect.  But on most days my life is perfect for me.  I like to think that I’m not a person that feeds off of what other people think of me, but somedays part of me is.  Every once in a while I am that girl that scrolls through pictures of other people and their families on facebook and feel so disappointed in myself.  But…for what!! You got this girl!! I love my babies, and my boyfriend and my job as much as a person can love things and I appreciate every bit of each one of them.  I just think it’s important for us to look at ourselves sometimes and just be proud of the good things we do each day instead of upset for the things we don’t get done.  Like sometimes it’s ok to repect yourself as a BOSS and recognize yourself that you hold shit down.  It’s okay to be proud of yourself for the accomplishements that you make everyday, even if it’s taking a shower, putting on makeup, wearing clothes other than leggings lol… right…

Noone’s perfect all the time.  Apprecitate your weaknesses along with your strengths and keep on doin ur thang!

Intro of my little people

Ok, so here are my beautiful babies.  G is the oldest she’s 11.  This girl is my a-1!! No doubt!! I was a single mom with her until she was about five when we met my current boyfriend, who is now her dad, and amazing at it.  It’s so crazy the bond between the two of them.  The similarities and characteristics they share.  This girl is an outstanding softball and basketball player.  She is soooo smart, but holds herself back a little, totally gets that from me.  You know some qualities you know you have and you try ur hardest to not let your kids have em and you just can’t help.  G also has the biggest heart in the world!!! Her dad was trying to teach her to have her competitive edge when she first started competitive sports, at the grand ol age of 7, IKR.   but he was all about makin her this beast, I’m so on board.  But if a girl fell during a game or hurt herself she was right there to help her up or make sure she was ok… ugh, if you don’t get ur ass over there and make a basket…(LOL I do cuss a lot fyi).  Absolutely the best daughter anyone could ever ask for, and she’s mine!!!

Em is my 4 year old.  This girl right here.  She’s like a teenager in a lil 4 year old body.  LOL She is so spunky, says the craziest shit!!! I was at work one night and their dad was texting me telling me that she had gotten in trouble for somethin and was supposed to be sittin down (time out ish)…but then he asked her what she was in trouble for and she said “cause I lost my damn mind, I’m sorry daddy”.  LOL, Em just started hip/hop, tonight was her first night.  She was so excited!! The last two years she’s done a combo class with tap/jazz/ballet.  She got on the competitive gym team this year but still wanted to dance, so thought this one would be fun.  I can’t wait to hear about it in the morning.  Her favorite songs right now are by Cardi B, so I’m sure she thought she was bout to go have a twerk/rap fest at hip hop class, have to see if that’s what it turned out to be.  (Don’t judge ;-)…she doesn’t really twerk, I mean well I guess she probably does but my kids are always like mom…she’s twerkin…anyways I’ll have to find a video, sounds worse than it is…

My main man, Stevo!!! He is a chocolate baby super model.  He has the most beautiful hair and skin…He and I are twins!! Everyone is always like, you and your son look just alike.  “Uhhhh, no we don’t mom.  I’m black, you white!!!” That’s what he tells me, LMAO.  He’s so cute!! He’s almost 4.  This guy, has a great personality!! All my kiddos are pretty fun and well behaved.  Oh, trust I have some stories, but for the most part.  He is a great big brother and little brother.  He holds the doors for us and asks us if we ok.

The sweet little baby Mimi…she’s much milder than Em, like they both sprouted from the same Jalapeno tree (if that’s a thing)…she definitely says “NO” to lots of stuff, she’s just as cute as she wants to be!! She’s almost 2.  The 3 youngest are all “almost” their birthdays are all this month.  15th, 16th and 23rd….My birthday/Christmas/New Years all in December…dun dun dun…9 months later…these sweet little punkin pies.  Mimi is great!! She just started dance also.  You can’t watch, on a daily at practice, they have like parent watch days throughout the year and then a big recital in the summer of course.  She doesn’t cry…so I guess she likes it….

Alright so here’s my lovers, loves of my life!! These sweet babies are my drive for life, and I love every ounce of them! But…there are days that they be on my damn nerves frfr….

Hey y’all

Hey y’all!! So I’m excited to begin this journey.  I feel like my life is so full of love, happiness and joy with an equal amount of crazy!! LOL blogging seems like the perfect forum for tellin all my crazy without people havin to listen to me.  So… I am a 38 year old night ER nurse and mom to 4 beautiful babies.  I love life!! Every once in a while I just gotta get some things off my chest..I have a boyfriend, we’ve been together the last six years, but loyalty is not really his strong point in life.

Things I love are my babies.  I’m sure I will share tons of things and photos about them because they are THE BEST!! I love to cook.  I watch those shows on food network , “Beat Bobby Flay.” “Chopped”  and I feel like I am the next champion… I’ma have to add pictures.  Sometimes, when I’m dreaming…you know while cooking.  I think I should so make a show of “real life cooking”  My boyfriend is a high school football coach, so I’m pretty much a single mom at times, no pun at women/men that are single parents.  But you know… So when I’m cooking and dreamin, like I done Pinterest’d some idea for dinner after watching some late night food network the night before…and I am ready to make the worlds best meal.  Anyways we’ll talk more about my “realife cooking” show later.  I love to DIY things.  I love being a ER nurse, it is the shit!!! Best job ever!! Especially at night!! So… here is me and my stories…or plenty of crazyones that make me who I am.